So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
