you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
