We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
