like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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