so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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