idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
