Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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