Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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