I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize