I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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