Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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