She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
