You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
