I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
