I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Still dying that you shit outside
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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