Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
