Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
