Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
