i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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