My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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