He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
