NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
