Sry I called you an 8
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
