so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
