There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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