i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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