You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i need some magic done to my vagina
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
