Me too!
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
