just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You left your phone here
Wait...
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