found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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