I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
