Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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