If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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