WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
