he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
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