I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
