i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
