I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
