if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
