With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize