remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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