are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
