you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
