When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She's the barista slut.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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