i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I think your dad took our porno
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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