Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize