Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
