Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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