Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
