oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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