Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
