Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
