If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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