I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
