Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
