your parents love me but you hate me
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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