Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Barsexuality is the new black.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
