How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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