Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
