put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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