a queef is a wish your heart makes.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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