Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I don't deserve a penis
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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