Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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