i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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